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Writer's pictureThe Current

Pity Party For One

By Livia Cahill


Sam flipped her bleached blonde hair over her shoulder, a habit she’d developed along with her friends. She slipped her Starbucks drink, filled with caramel and whipped cream and the tiniest bit of coffee. Today's outfit was her go to: brown uggs, black leggings, a sweater from American Eagle and a down vest. She loved a good pair of jeans, but she’d had yoga class that morning so Lululemon it was.


She was at Starbucks alone for once. Her shiny white car her parents had gotten her for her 17th birthday felt strangely empty without her friends there. A text popped up from her mom and dad, practically begging her and her brother to have dinner with them as a family for once. She stopped her scroll-fest and put down her phone. She always got the latest model, but she was beginning to wish she didn’t have one at all.


After finishing her drink, Sam picked her phone up again and told her parents she was babysitting that night. Which she was. She had nothing else to do. No point in lying about it. Besides, the last party she’d been to was a total bust. She was sure she’d rather spend her nights watching movies with her friends and eating way too much chocolate than watching them playing drinking games and accidentally flashing people.


Sam needed something to do for the rest of the afternoon. The silence was killing her and she couldn’t just drive around inhaling sugar all day and feeling bad for herself. She called her sister. Hannah was at college, but she was only thirty minutes away in the city. She could brave suburbia for a few hours. Or Sam could brave the city, which would be a hundred times more exciting.


“Hey, Sam. What’s up?” Hannah asked after only one ring. Sam had accused Hannah of having no social life, but that wasn’t really true, she was just really good at picking up her phone. Besides, who was she to criticize now?


“I miiissss yoooou,” Sam whined and Hannah, predictably, chuckled into the phone. Sam smiled. “Please get me out of this place. I can’t wait to go to college!”


“It’s Saturday…” Hannah said, but it sounded more like a question than a statement of fact.

“And?”

“And don’t you have something to do? Is Maya there?”

“No. No Maya. Just me and a pity party for one.”

“That bad, huh?”


“Pretty much. Soccer is tomorrow and for some reason the team is going to a party tonight. I’d rather die, so I’m babysitting instead. Mom and Dad keep bugging Chris and I about skipping family dinner. Maya hasn’t been answering my texts since I told her that parties are overrated. Yoga was good, but I’m having a shit ton of sugar instead of lunch. And everything is so boring here that I’d cry just to feel anything.”


A pause. “Damn, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s your lucky day because I’m meeting some friends for lunch. It’ll be pretty chill and afterwards we can do something together, just you and me, if you’d like.”


“I’d loooove that! Thanks, Hannah, you’re the best!”

“Don’t say I never treat you.”

Sam rolled her eyes, but it was half-assed. “Okay sugar daddy. Send me the time and place.”

“On it…. Hey, Sammy Lamby?”

“Hey, Hannah Banana?” Sam mimicked, trying to keep things light.

“You’re still… taking your meds right?”


Sam bristled a bit, her face like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. “Yeah,” she answered shortly, losing her upbeat tone.


“And seeing your therapist?”


“Yup. Everything’s fine, Hannah. I promise.” Sam just knew her sister was chewing at her lip right now. She felt the urge to say more and she knew Hannah’s silence meant the same. “Hey,” she brightened her voice, “Trust me. I’d tell you if something was up. Besides, this day will be much better with you in it.” She smiled, but it had a sadness weighing it down. She was glad Hannah couldn’t see it.


“Yeah, okay. See you later. Love you!”

“Love you too!”


After Hannah hung up, Sam sat staring at her phone, her knuckles white. She shook her head quickly, as if trying to get the tension out. Nope, no spirals today. She was going to hang out with her sister and her college friends, maybe flirt with a few guys jokingly and get reprimanded by her sister, and eat something good. She was going to have some quality sister time and then spend the night babysitting to distract herself. It was gonna be great.



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